Amy

When I was about eleven, I started raiding my mom's "old" jewelry box - the one full of things from the 60s to 80s that she didn't wear anymore, like various colored strands of pastel plastic pearls, purple bird earrings, and gold flower pins. One of the things I really loved at the time was a quartz crystal point on a long chain, a piece straight out of the 70s, which I wore until I lost it. I felt bad for both of us, even though she either didn't know or didn't care.

Well, I've always missed that point, so when I started seeing these emerging on Etsy, I had to get one. A simple, natural quartz point, set in a silver bullet casing (nice modern edge!), dangling from a nice long silver chain. The hard part was finding the right piece (I decided early on that I preferred a larger bullet casing with a smaller crystal, lest the crystal start to look rather, erm, phallic). Well, this one was perfect (and perfectly imperfect, I might add). http://etsy.me/k3P9go

Okay, so I bought some fucking teacups last summer. So much for concealing my girliness. Though in my defense, I only got them to burn candles in. Adding fire makes it okay, right?

Excellent. I got this sunscreen for my face (duh), with the exception of around the eyes, which I used the stick sunscreen for (I made the mistake of absentmindedly applying this right around my eyes a couple times, and yes, it does burn on eye contact, though not on the skin). I'm very pleased with this stuff. It's moisturizing, oil-free, hypoallergenic, and offers great full-spectrum (UVA/UVB) protection. It absorbs quickly, doesn't leave much shine, and wears very well under makeup. While I was in Hawaii, I burned a bit on my shoulders and back despite diligently applying (probably inferior) sunscreen, but my face didn't show the slightest bit of pink. In fact, I don't think my face even tanned, unlike the rest of me. If you're into that kind of protection, I'd say go for it. Just don't forget to reapply every hour or two, unless you really want to lose that sexy ghostly pallor of yours.

Also, can I say how much I love Soap.com? This was my first time using it, but I needed sunscreen FAST for cheap, and with Amazon Prime I usually have to buy a 3-pack (great, but not before I know whether I'll like the product). This was just as fast, cheap, and they applied discounts automatically without me having to scour the web for coupons. Score.

Not bad! I needed some serious full-spectrum (UVA/UVB) sunscreen for Hawaii, and figured I'd try a stick sunscreen after hearing that it worked particularly well around the eyes. Supposedly stick sunscreens are less likely to run (and subsequently burn your eyes), and considering this was designed for sensitive skin and had good reviews, I figured I'd give it a shot. No real complaints here. You put it on like you would a chapstick (but it's much wider, making for easier application) - though I actually rubbed it on my fingers and used them to apply instead. You can use this for the whole face, but I used it primarily around my eyes (lids, undereye area, etc); it even worked fine underneath my concealer. It feels a bit sticky after application and leaves a little shine (despite being "oil-free"), but I always set my concealer with loose powder anyway, which made it undetectable. Most importantly, it didn't irritate my skin, and I didn't burn once. Win, win.

Another present for my Simpsons-loving friend. I love how this looks like a cool pixel art piece regardless of context, until you actually tell someone it's row upon row of 3-pixel characters from The Simpsons. I just gave this to him the other day and he totally loved it, though we still haven't figured all of them out. There goes our weekend.

It's true - no matter how hard I try, I can't overcome my girliness any more than I can communicate a firm 'NO' to any fashion decade. I thought I'd never wear a maxi dress, especially the feminine kind, but I surprise myself. So here it is: the dress that's going to validate my mother's misguided desires to buy me inappropriate, disgustingly girly clothing despite my (teeth-grittingly gentle) protests.

Normally, I would take every opportunity to prove to her that my style has largely evolved into a somewhat androgynous mess of equal parts grungy bleached denim and black leather, with frightening silver hardware thrown in for good measure. But unfortunately, fooling her is easier than fooling myself into believing I'm married to a single look.

Did I mention I'm (we're) going to Kauai? Yeah. That pretty much clinched it. Despite how 70s prom this (in person, more of a minty green) floor-length dress is, it has a wonderful lightweight drape which I suspect is perfect for sashaying around on the beach. Probably with a defeated scowl on my face every time Mom looks at me with any kind of pleasure.

This review is dedicated to @VintageVixen for her strong will in overcoming her distaste for 70s fashion and the color pink, and for tolerating (at one time, anyway) her mother's unfortunate gifts.

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UPDATE: Wore this to a luau in Kauai while I romped around gardens filled with flamboyantly-colored peacocks and ducks and roosters. I think the birds thought I was one of them, because I almost got molested by a grey goose that tried really hard to get under my skirt. Seriously awesome! Though when dinner rolled around my boyfriend managed to knock over a glass of red fruit punch that I so carefully carried to the table, and I had to spend fifteen minutes trying to locate all sprinkles of liquid in the millions of pleats on my skirt. The damage wasn't bad, and I'm hoping what's left will come out when I get around to washing this. The karmic upside: Matt got to feel super guilty while, immediately after spilling the punch, a pair of newlyweds sat right next to him and he had to worry the rest of the night about the bride's massive, frothy white dress pushing up against his chair, just begging for another accident. It was pretty damned amusing. But seriously, I forgive him.

One of my best jewelry purchases to date. I have a strong love for anything hot/neon/fuchsia pink, and natural gemstone has had my heart since I was a teenager collecting tumbled stones to divine the future (and escape the dreary epochs of young adulthood for hours at a time).

This was a really great deal. The stone is very conspicuous at 1.5" tall (not including the bail), very bright, and has a slightly less conspicuous druse that, even so, glitters like Jesus in sparkle spray dancing under a disco ball. I strung this on a very long (30"), heavy silver curb chain and wear it constantly over basics. It's just the thing to make a simple outfit pop; or rather, explode in a heavenly fireworks display. New To-Do List item: divine future with fireworks.

Ostentatious pendant: check. Sacrilegious review: check, check.

My very own technicolor dreamcoat? Um, YES! The second I saw this I needed it. What's not to love? I heart oversize t-shirts, tie-dye, pastel, neon, and rainbows. I even have my own hot pink tights and knee-highs to pair with it! Not to mention neon yellow...superhero blue...and splash: http://bit.ly/forlOZ. Oh yes. I'm totally going to wear this all summer and scare the normals with my flashy, blinding colors. And in fall. And winter. And spring. That's right. Etsy has created a monster.

Did I mention I also have these? http://bit.ly/fz5aiG

I bought this vintage western shirt for my boyfriend a few months back in an attempt to contribute fulfillment of his desire for a "uniform." The color is very similar to a short-sleeve western he has and loves, and aside from this one being larger than he prefers, it looks great. Except that I got so damned excited when it came in the mail that I tried to rip open the package to surprise him, only to grow impatient with the layers of clear tape, and stupidly proceeded to cut the end off the bag with scissors. Yeah. The excitement of receiving mail makes me that dumb.

Luckily, I only cut a tiny little upside-down "v" on the back of the shirt near the hem. He still wears it, and I don't think anyone really notices. But I was rather mad at myself, and took this as a lesson that excessive shopping makes me a dangerous fiend. Which is not to say I really shop less - only that I fear for my sanity. Oh - and should probably not be allowed scissors. Especially in moments of happy anticipation.

I bought this greeting card for a good friend of mine that I'm going to visit in May. We were both raised on The Simpsons (the classic episodes); I'm sure all you fans remember this one (and in case you don't: http://bit.ly/ea12Pz ). I wanted to get him a couple things for a late birthday/going away present (he's leaving for a grad program in Australia for several years right after my visit and I probably won't see him for a long time - boo). I also uploaded an image from Mr. Plow (his favorite episode) to the back of the card.

I hope he'll keep this as a reminder of our dorky friendship. Currently, our primary method of keeping in touch is sending each other random Simpsons quotes via text message. Maybe it always will be, and I'm okay with that. Nothing else needs to be said.

Oh, and I know what you're probably thinking, but this is not a failed love story (there was no "I Choo-Choo-Choose You" Valentine prior to this; but I won't stop you from breaking hearts this way).

I'm a die-hard bar soap fan (there's nothing more awesome during a shower than a fancy bar of soap, in my opinion). But bar soap can be drying, and it's not as easy to lather, so I've been testing other products. Well I say no point spending tons of money on body wash when a cheap one performs marvelously! This stuff had great reviews and so far it's lived up to the hype. It was about $8 for a ton of product, it's thick and creamy, smells good, lathers and cleans very well, and is extremely moisturizing. It claims to hold moisture for up to 24 hours, and I'd say it does; I add my lotion afterward (Dove Cream Oil - another marvelous product, I might add), and notice my skin feels softer and more hydrated, and for much longer than usual. I also find it very gentle; I've even used this to wash my face (with the scrublet from the L'Oreal Go 360 exfoliating scrub - also good), and find it's a nice break from using harsher cleansers that can make my normal/dry skin feel parched. A great product all around; I recommend it if you're in need of some additional moisture.

This was a reorder for me. I tried these out from Target after hearing a good blog review a couple months ago, and have not been disappointed. They're $7 for a pack of 30 (large) wipes, which will get you through a month with daily use. In addition to removing makeup (including eye makeup), they cleanse, tone, and moisturize. Or so they claim. I have dry-ish skin, and I admit that I don't feel parched after using these (though I still put on my nightly moisturizer afterward). Even washing my makeup off with just water and a microfiber cloth makes my face feel dry, but these make me feel both clean and pleasantly refreshed. They're also really gentle - they don't irritate my eyes no matter how close I get, and while I don't typically have sensitive skin, these are supposed to be great if you do (they're hypoallergenic and dermatologically tested). They don't work so well on my waterproof mascara (even though they claim to work with waterproof makeup in general), so I suggest you use a waterproof eye makeup remover (or just olive oil or Vaseline) for the lashes. But I'm still going to keep these to remove the rest of my face and eye makeup, because they're just too convenient and effective, not to mention perfect for travel (now if only I could get over my guilt about destroying the planet with disposable wipes).

I'm all about the accessories these days - simple tops, lots of jewelry. This one makes it easy, because it's so dramatic it's the only accessory I need. Slip this on and I look like I'm gearing up for the Crusades. I'm a little crazy, so that works for me. Some people just don't get it, but that's to be expected, so it's meaningless (there's a fashion manifesto if I ever heard one). Also, you feel unstoppable when you put this on. A very well-made piece of jewelry; I highly recommend if you're in dire need of body armor to amp up your style, lift your mood, and ward off oppressing glances. http://www.etsy.com/shop/snefter

I finally got around to using this, and I'd say it was well worth the $7 paid. The Franktuary is a little hole-in-the-ground (or rather, church basement) gourmet hot dog restaurant located in downtown Pittsburgh (and open only during weekday lunch hours. I thought maybe they'd get some good business if they stayed open after church services let out upstairs on Sundays, but that might be considered blasphemy).

I ended up getting the Locavore (organic, grass-fed, all-beef frank from a local PA farm), Mexico style (cheddar cheese, mango salsa, and guacamole toppings), and the Yellow fruit smoothie (mango and pineapple). The flavors worked surprisingly well together and the smoothie was the perfect complement to the dog I got. Our little table was painted with floating franks, and we got to watch feet go by outside our window while we chowed on our sinful goods. Sacrilicious.

Fun Fact: The Franktuary once operated under the name Hot Dogma, but had to change it for legal reasons.

I was running out of places to hang my necklaces (the corners of my full-length mirror were less than ideal), and all the jewelry stands I looked at sucked. I like my necklaces LONG, okay? Ten inches off the table isn't going to do it. This was more spacious than all the wall-mounted jewelry racks I could find, had great reviews, and was about half the price. Once I got over how big it was (it's really meant for coats), I mounted it to my bedroom wall in all of one minute (it should be noted that I'm about as handy as a platypus), arranged all my thirty-inch chains on it by metal type, and stood there hyperventilating with excitement over how good it looked. I immediately wanted another one, even though I didn't need it. Add a creepy ceramic hand from Urban Outfitters for rings and bracelets and I've got myself a museum of curiosities worth a gander (and eventually, an estate sale). Thanks, Amazon.

There's no drug I love better than getting tattooed. It's a rather expensive habit that I've managed to limit to two occasions in the past seven years (not including touch-ups) - which has been a feat, let me tell you. This poetry anthology might be an ideal solution to the problem, as a way of taking the edge off - though after a delighted peek I gifted it to a tattoo-curious friend.

The book itself is adorable. Good stuff, too! This cute little handmade poetry anthology is edited by Claire Askew of Read This Magazine (http://readthismagazine.co.uk) and contains lots of wonderful tattoo poems from people you've never heard of, along with the likes of famed poet Kim Addonizio. You can't expect outrageous quality for $6, but it's really quite darling. I bought it over a year ago, but they're still for sale here: http://etsy.me/eRu2ia (along with some vintage typewriter key jewelry, if you're particularly nerdy). You might also be interested in reading Claire's poetry blog, One Night Stanzas (http://onenightstanzas.com) - best name ever.

I have a thing for garlic now, thanks to my last roommate. I usually double or triple the amount called for in any recipe. But when my roommate moved, he took the only garlic press (the DASTARD!), so I went straight to Amazon to find a new one. This is what I ended up with. I swear it's stronger than a vice grip, fits two large or three medium cloves at a time, and is so sharp and strong that it's much easier to crush the cloves than with a normal press (the rubber grips help). The handles also flip a full 180 degrees on their hinges for built-in cleaning - the back of one end has 40 little teeth that push the pulp out of the chamber on the other end, making it much easier to remove. I'd probably cry if someone took this from me, I need my garlic that bad. Them vampires got nothin' on me.

When I met my boyfriend he wore unattractive, baggy khakis with bulky pockets and holes, until I bought him some jeans. Now (by choice, I might add) that's all he wears. They're much slimmer-looking and more flattering when worn. I slowly weaned him from baggy to bootcut, convincing him a good butt is an asset - not a thing to hide. He has since transitioned from classic blue to vintage gray, and has stocked multiples with no prompting. $19 on sale is a steal, and paired with his usual pearl-snap Western shirts and a cognac leather jacket I imported from Japan, he looks rather put-together these days. I can't get him to take these off; even the lure of flannel dinosaur PJs is rarely enough. I guess my job here is done. I'm kind of sad. I need a new project...any ideas?

Amazing. I had this stuff a year or so ago, and haven't been able to find it again, unfortunately. I have a thing for fancy bar soap, especially lemon, and this stuff was wonderful. It really was shaped and sized like a lemon (it's the top one in the picture, next to the real ones), but it had a flat bottom so it wouldn't roll. And the smell was divine - tart and refreshing. The only thing I hate about buying soap on Etsy is the shipping charge. Anyone know of other good places to buy delicious lemon soap? I think I need some more.

I'm pretty sure I couldn't love this thing more. I cut my own hair because I hate paying for cuts, whether cheap or salon-priced, when they rarely actually give me the style I want. I have short hair, so it needs frequent touch-ups and trims, but it's not too difficult to cut. This comb made the transition to at-home hair trimming so smooth - I haven't been to a hairdresser since I bought it (about 3 years ago), and I get compliments on my hair constantly.

The comb works like this: It has a normal comb on one side, with a hook for parting your hair at the end (comes in very handy), and I use this end daily. On the other side, it has a wide-tooth comb with a removable straight razor blade for cutting - you just slide the comb through your hair as if you were brushing it, and it cuts as it goes. It sounds like this would be painful, but it's not (it can tug dry hair, but you won't feel a thing when it's wet). It's actually pretty fun, because you have a lot of control over where and how much you cut - just make sure you don't get too excited and go overboard. The comb comes with a box of replacement blades, and you can order more anytime you want - the blades take a long time to dull, however, and in three years I've only changed the blade once or twice. Two annoying things: it's difficult to pop the chamber open to remove the blade (this is made easier with a butter knife), and the side with the blade tends to get some hair stuck in it after a trim (though this is easy to remove/rinse once you get the chamber open).

All in all, an excellent buy. My boyfriend even liked the comb, and accidentally broke it - but for $10 with shipping I was able to order a new one with no problem. Highly recommended.